every year that goes by, i feel like im the same person but only a little things change of me. this year, i can say ive changed my character completely. i still have an inner core of me thts the same but a lot has changed. and i feel like its bc whos around me. who i keep and cut off. im tired of bullshit. im tired of fake ppl. and im tired of ppl talkin shit behind my back. if yu gotta say something, plz, come say it to my face.

i can say tht ive lost touch with ALOT of ppl within this year. i grew close to ppl who i would never imagined being close too, and i lost touch with ppl who i would never feel like id lose. but if yu cant trust ppl, how can yu keep them in ur life? for them to continue talkin shit and doing things tht lose ur trust, its not worth it. you win some, yu lose some. thts life. obv im upset bout some of the ppl i lost, but its another one of those obstacles tht yu need to get through to be a stronger individual. 

this year, ive tried out things i would have never done before and i had a good time. if ppl wanna judge me, they can. everyone has their own opinion. at the end of the day, i know the mistakes i made and i can fix them myself. for those who still stuck by me, i thank you, and for those who left, showed me how easily yu gave up on helpin me and our friendship. 

i dnt really know what to expect for the new year. things are going good right now. sometimes i do wish the ppl who im no longer close to, will come around again, but i gotta think twice b4 wanting them back into my life. trust and honesty is something big tht i want in a friendship, w/o tht idk how i can call yu my friend. 

this post isnt really bout what i DID this year, but more of how i changed as a person. i like the person i am now. sure i have a few bad qualities tht i wanna change but its a work in progress. im really hyped to see what 2012 has in store for me.

lifes a mystery cuz yu never know what to expect. this is my retrospect.

(Source: hellyeahitsrandom, via hellyeahitsrandom)

i havent really reblogged or made a new post in such a long time. im just being lazy. i barely come on tumblr anymore. just extremely bored right now, have nothing to do. these last few months i guess really changed my life, both in a good way and a bad. a lot of things tht happened, i really wish it wouldnt have. but i guess thts life. moving on to bigger and better things. 

ps. its almost christmas in a few hours, i wanna wish everyone a merry christmas and happy holidays!

sometimes i wish my dreams can be reality. all my troubles went away. and everything i wanted to happen, happened. i was actually happy for the first time in a while. sadly this was only a dream and i woke up to reality. oh well, gotta see how this day goes.

Countdown to come home: 1 Day!

i havent been on tumblr for such a long time. i guess ive been too busy nowadays and trying to actually get more focused on school. its a mix of tht and lately i was planning stuff for my birthday which i had an amazing time at. 

idrk what to talk about here. im just gonna ramble with whatever comes to my mind. i guess lately what has been on my mind for the last few nights has been friendships. i honestly feel like thats one of THE most important things in my life. without friends i think its really difficult to get through school (which is basically your whole life). 

i really hate talking about my life here. but sometimes i feel like i dont wanna talk to anyone about it and just write it out. lately whats been on my mind is this one friend. ever since ive lost 4 ppl i consider best friends throughout the last couple years, im afraid to trust anyone else really. i know i have a female best friend and i KNOW for a fact ill never lose her, but i still want someone who is like a brother to me. someone who i can just talk about guy stuff with. every guy needs a guys night out to get away from female drama and just do our own thing. I do have this one friend who i been getting close to. but im just afraid now because after everything with everyone, ive started having trust issues. In such a short amount of time of being friends with him, he’s actually done more for me then any of my past close friends. so it really means a lot. i wanna be able to call him my best friend but a part of me feels like im putting myself into a situation where ill lose another friend ive gotten close to and i really dont want tht to happen cuz idk if i can deal with it.

some ppl tell me, its not that serious, and maybe its not, but the one thing i hate the most when it comes to having a friend, is losing them, esp if youve gotten close with them. so idk what to do right now. im just gonna trust him bc he hasnt done anything wrong. and hes proved to me that he wants to be my friend and tht i could trust him. idk only time will tell what happens….